March 26, 2008

Emma's great Grandma passed away this week, and her funeral will be tomorrow. She was a wonderful woman, and I can't see myself not making a note here on the blog about her. The kids are not going to the funeral for various reasons, Derek is sick, Ella is young and I don't want her confused, and Emma is kind of hard to move around in a cemetary. But I know they will be there in Sprit. I will go to represent our family and to say my goodbyes.

I went to the funeral home tonight and Betty looks beautiful, the flowers are perfect and everything is set for a loving funeral tomorrow. Her hair was perfectly done which I know she would have been happy about.

I just ask all our readers to pray not for myself, or for Emma but for Dave and Diane who are Betty's children. (Dave is Emma's Poppy I have metioned here a million times) I know it will be a hard time for them both and for her children as well as my sister and myself but Dave and Diane both have done their parts the last few years to make sure their mom had a good life and was taken care of. Their sorrow must be very hard to bare, but we all understand she is with the Lord now and in a place she can no longer hurt or be sick. She is with her husband and that is a big comfort for all of us she left behind. She had a long and wonderful life, and I feel blessed to have been a part of that.

Here is her obit for those interested.
Betty Hayward, 90, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, died Monday, March 24, 2008, in Norman, Oklahoma. Funeral Services will be held at 1 p.m., Thursday, March 27, 2008, at the Havenbrook Funeral Home Chapel with Reverend Pam Normile officiating. Interment will follow at the Rose Hill Cemetery in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Services are under the direction of Havenbrook Funeral Home of Norman, Oklahoma.Betty Hayward was born in Denver, Colo. on June 18, 1917, to Charles and Myrtle Clark. She grew up in her beloved Palmer Lake, Colo. until she went away to Colorado College in Colorado Springs. She always thought of that as such a "magical time". That also being the time when she met her future husband, Bob Hayward. They were married July 31, 1938 and spent the next 52 years together until his death in October of 1990.A devoted wife, mother, and homemaker, Betty also enjoyed playing bridge and community volunteer work. In 1973 a debilitating stroke limited her activities somewhat, but never her spirit or resolve.Betty was also preceded in death by her parents and her oldest son, Robert C. Hayward. She is survived by two sisters, Charlene McCall of Colorado Springs, Colo. and Muriel Anderson of Montrose, Colo; daughter and son-in-law, Diane and Ken Dragg, and two grandsons, Ryan and Chris Dragg, all of Norman; a son, David Hayward, and daughter-in-law, Jean Cochran and two granddaughters, Lisa Pergande and Lori Richards all of Norman; and a granddaughter, Tiffany Stewart of Bakersfield, Calif. Six great grandchildren survive her as well.

HAPPY EASTER

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead "1 Peter 1:3

We had a great Easter here at home. Emma got a cross, a webkinz doll that is a pink poodle, a chocolate bunny and got to hunt eggs thanks to the Easter bunny. The first pic I posted is of her HOPE cross. I love it, the "Easter bunny" did a good job finding it for her. She got the chocolate bunny even if she can't eat it because its tradition and I didn't want her to feel left out.

Daddy got called into to work early so we had to rush a bit today but all in all it was good. The kids hunted eggs and then we ate spiral cut glazed ham, mashed potatos, green beans, hawaiian rolls, deviled eggs and black olives. Ella put all the olives on her fingers and at them off, it was funny.

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL OUR FRIENDS!!

Sunday March 16, 2008

Well, turns out the metro lift bus does not run to my Mom's on Saturdays. Yesterday was their annual egg hunt at their neighboorhood pond/park and Emma could not attend. We just couldn't get her and all her stuff in a car, there is too much to bring. But next year we will ride on Friday and spend the whole weekend and return on Monday.

Ella and Derek did go. I will have some pictures later I might post. The kids hunt by age groups and in each group their were 2 golden eggs. Ella found one! She turned it in for a $5 walmart card. Derek was really upset over that and cried and threw a huge fit, it was embarrising so his Poppy walked him all the way around the pond and home, to avoid onlookers and by the time we all got home he was calmed down and wanted to open his eggs he got.

It was nice to go over there, but I missed Emma. My mother made a wonderful ham and it was very tasty. I want more, and it makes my mouth water thinking of it.

Emma slept most of the day according to dad, so I don't think she cared. Nanny sent home a present for her, it was a little turtle figurine she can look at. I guess since I love turtles Emma will too. She loved looking at it last night when I was doing her physical therapy. Ahh phsyical therapy. Let me just say that big kids in diapers is no fun. I was moving her around and about that time she decided it was time to wet her diaper, but it had shifted and bunched and she wet all over her bed! Had to change her wet pad she lays on at and she was pretty mad that she got wet. She yelled through her trach at me.

Still no nursing to be heard of, but that is fine with our family, the last few weeks have been wonderful we can all sleep at normal hours, and go at our own pace, no strangers bringing in sick germs and attitudes and its nice to raise my child without outside help, it just feels so "normal".

Have a blessed Sunday everyone! Thanks for stopping by

Memories....

Emma's grandma (NANNY) found some old pics of Emma that I had never seen so I thought I would share them with you all. They are too precious for words, I can't believe that she was ever that small. I remember holding her and thinking her head was as small as an apple. Her whole hand could barely wrap around your finger she was so tiny. She is all grown up now, and its so hard to believe! I am so proud of my girl.


Dec 2004 getting her trach suctioned


Emma Feb.. 13, 2005 she had already had CPR done on her 2 times at this size!


Early 2005



early 2005



early 2005


Dec 2004, the day she came home from the hospital


Mommy and Emma on the day she came hom Dec 2004


Poppy and Emma early 2005

March 4, 2008

Well there isn't much to update but I thought I better before everyone thinks Emma forgot about them! She is finally over being sick and is doing great. She has been busy watching nascar on Sunday's with Mommy, which I love.

We switched to day time nursing with our nursing company 3 days a week 12 hour shifts but so far they haven't found me anyone that will work out. So we are without nursing right now, which is fine by me. Having somewhere here during the day is weird. They are doing all the work I am capable of doing myself. Emma just requires such little nursing care that I feel like we are wasting valuable nurses having them here.

I know some kids are in hospitals waiting to go home, because they can't find nurses to cover there shifts. It seems like such a waste for us to be hogging the nurses just to start Emma's feedings and change her diapers. I can do that! I don't mind. Its been a lot more normal around here lately, and for once in 3 years I feel like a regular family. Emma hasn't been in the hospital, we don't have nurses hanging around, and everything is running smoothly. Honestly all the nursing company does is stress me out, trying to send people who have no idea what they are doing out here, that sort of thing.

I guess about a week ago, Emma's brother Derek lost another tooth. That is 4 since Dec. and he has 2 more loose but we aren't wiggling them. If the looses those he will have 4 gone on top and it will make it hard for him to eat! He got a dollar from the tooth fairy and he was very excited.

Not much else going on, other than counting down until Easter. This year I have it planned out to take the small metro bus over to my Mom's with Emma that way she can do the Easter Egg hunt that Mom's home owners do over there. The Easter Bunny will be there and it will be neat to get Emma's picture with her. Derek and Ella can ride with my mother and we will all be there for Easter fun. The kids always have fun doing that, last year it got cancelled because it snowed, I hope it doesn't snow this year.

That's my short update for now, sorry but there just isn't that much to share lately, Emma is doing wonderfully.

Feb 17, 2008

Emma is still fighting hard to get over being sick. Just when I think she gets better she will want to use oxygen for an hour or two or spike a small fever. Silly girl is keeping me on my toes.

We have now dropped all night nursing and are trying the day nursing thing. We will get a nurse from 8am to 8pm 3 days a week. That way when we find a house to rent Emma and Ella can share a room and we don't have to worry about a nurse being in the room with them. We had a really nice lady come out last week and I thought she was going to work out, but I guess she decided to go back to her other pateints house. So we are meeting another nurse tomorrow afternoon to see if she might be a good fit.

Our old nurse DeLene doesn't work for the company anymore, but we still talk almost every day, she came down last week to visit too. The kids liked that, they all missed her so much. I think maybe Ella missed her most of all though. She was so excited to see "Lene".

Last week Emma and the rest of us went to her brother's school for his first school program. They sang lots of little kid love songs like "you are my sunshine" and "skinnamrink" it was really sweet. I had tears in my eyes, and was so very proud of him on stage, he was the tallest one of all 4 kindgergarten classes so he was easy to spot. He has an ear infection AGAIN and Friday the doctor said he was 49.5 inches tall and 61 pounds. Seems like just yesterday he was my little baby boy and I was holding him in my arms nursing him. Soon he will be bigger than me.

We are currently searching for a house to rent, close to where we are now, since its close to work and school. We are not having the best of luck but we are still trying. I ask everyone to think happy thoughts so we can find a place soon and get into a bigger space. I think the walls are starting to close in on me here! :-)

Thanks for reading and following Emma's blog. It means so much to us that all of you do.

A new feeding pump for Emma

First I want to say thank you to all our friends who prayed for Emma when she was sick. She is much better. Her rash is gone and she has not had to use oxygen since early Tue morning. She isnt quite as high on her oxygen saturations as she used to be prior to being sick, but she is well within range of where she needs to be before we have to turn oxygen on. I think in a few days she will be all the way back to normal.

Now on to some more news. We have been trying to get feeding bags for Emma's pump for a few days now. For those of you who have no experience that is the plastic bag that goes to her pump, that holds her milk. Well, they told me today the would no longer be making her bags or her pump! So we got a new one sent to us today, its like Christmas time! We have a new gadget to play with.

Its very nice and much smaller than our last one. Its about 4.5 x 5 x1.5 inches, about the size of a larger digital camera. I posted a pic above for you to see. I just have to play with it and get used to it but its much prettier than our old one. It was nice to see the guys that brought it down, they had been bringing Emma oxgyen when she was sick so we kind of got to know them. I know they were glad to see Emma well.

As for nursing, well our company has fired our good nurse who was on medical leave. They want to introduce us to a new nurse that can only work 2 not the 3 days a week we need on Monday. Well on Tue we see our pulmo doctor and I think I am going to beg him to drop our nursing care. We aren't able to get what we need anyway. We have had 4 nights in two months, life is easier with out it, Emma requires almost no night care what so ever, so it makes no sense to have some one here doing nothing. Plus when we move I plan on putting the girls into a room together and it would be easier if we had no nurse. Yes, we plan on finding a house and moving by April 1. I will be so happy!

Again this year our family will be walking in a walk to help benefit the march of dimes. This year they have changed the name to March for Babies.

We will be walking in honor of Emma and Ella. They were born Oct 16, 2004, 9 weeks before their due date. They were tiny, 15 inches each and only 3 and 3.6 lbs.


This walk is very near and dear to me and I hope to raise even more money than my previous walks Any donation amount is appreciated. Thank you so much!

I am also walking in memory of my nephew Gabriel who was born sleeping. He made his very sad, but nonetheless grand entrance and exit to this world June 9, 2004. He is forever missed.

Please consider a small donation, and also pass the link on to all your friends. Prayers for a good fundraising and turn out for the walk are also greatly appreciated.


The March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality.


You can donate at
www.marchforbabies.org/LoriJRichards

Sorry you will have to most likely copy and paste the link, I can't get the code to work correctly on this layout.

Update for Jan 31

Emma is not going to her tummy dr appointment today. She needs to have the sore under her mickey button looked at but its snowing and cold and she has had to go back on a little oxygen this morning, after doing well off of it the majority of the last 2 days.

She has broken out in a rash, its fifth disease just like brother and me had a few weeks ago. Yes, even Mommy got it! So that explanis her cold like symptoms the last 2 weeks or so. Cold like respitory issues can be the early signs of fifth disease. Then you get the rash. Once you have the rash you are no longer able to pass it on to other people. So I guess that means she is getting better. She doesn't seemed bothered by it. That is good because mine itched so bad, Derek had no issues at all with his. Just the rash, no itch no pain fever nothing. I am hoping Emma stays itch free.

So its off to watch the news to see more about this snow business. I am hoping we get enough for a snowman this time. Not just for the kids but for me! I love snowmen. Thanks all for keeping Emma in your thoughts and prayers

Quick update

Sorry I haven't updated on Emma's cold like I said I would. When you have a child who is sick, its just not that realistic to hop online to write! She has been keeping me busy and I have had very little sleep this week. She is getting well I think.

She has spent most of the day off of her oxygen, and is awake more. That said tonight will be the true test, night times are the hardest for her. I am hoping she will be well enough to go to physical therapy on Thur, and she also has a tummy dr appt on Thur afternoon she can not miss, they are looking at a spot she has under her mickey button. Its a little irrated tissue that needs to be taken care of. Very common with mickey buttons.

Short update, and I am sorry for that but its time to get ready for bed.

Icky Sicky Girl

Well the last few days Emma has been really gunky. She started using oxygen last night, which she has not done in over 2 years. Except of course the last time she was sick which was 17 months ago.

Last night I suctioned her atleast 10 times, because I went through a whole bag of suction caths. We normally suction 1 time a week. She used oxygen ranging from .5 to 2.5 lit. through out the night. Now for those of you who don't know about oxygen that isn't a whole lot but its a lot for her. So this morning I called an ambulance, which is how we always go to the hospital since we don't have a car, and it means not having to wait in a waiting room too!

I packed like we would be staying for a week. We ALWAYS stay when she gets sick like she was. But guess what? The chest xray was clear! They did a culture and it didnt show any immediate signs of icky stuff, but they are still watching it, and they did an RSV test but not the rapid kind, they really felt it wasn't RSV. Their verdict : a common cold. Never in my life have I been more glad that one of my kids had a cold. We got to come home, a little bruised up from iv pokes, that was unneeded anyway, and using no oxygen but she is now on .5 lt.

What is weird is as soon as we got there she didn't require oxygen anymore. Isn't that they way it always is? Plus I changed her vent circuit while there and told the nurse she would have to bag her and guess what? She went from 95 sats to 100 with no bagging or vent at all. Crazy huh?

We just have to keep an eye on her and expect some oxygen use until she is all well. She doesn't mind her "o's" though it makes her oxygen levels much happier. I am sure we are going to be in for a few more rough days until she beats this, so kindly remember us in your prayers if you please. I will update you all atleast daily until she is well.

A special video for Emma, love Mommy

A video I did for Emma, yes I know there is one typo that I need to go back and fix. I hope all of you like it.

Mommy and Emma

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Small Prayer Request

Just a little prayer request for everyone. Emma's brother Derek has come down with something called Fifth Disease, its really common just a rash and maybe fever, slight itching and joint pain. Derek is having no issues other than the rash, his face looks like someone slapped it! Well guess what? I was feeling funny and looked in the mirror and I have it too. Yes Mommy is all broken out! I itch and feel like my face is on fire. Once the rash is here then you can't make someone else sick with it, so Derek is good to go back to school and I can go out. But the girls I am hoping won't have picked up our germs from last week when we were able to spread it around.

My prayer request is that Emma and her twin sister Ella do not get it. I don't think it would be a major deal for Emma to get, health wise but since she can't speak words it would be hard for her to tell me if she itched or was in pain. So please say a prayer that 2 red faced people in the house will be all we have.

Sorry there has been no update in a while. The holidays had us pretty busy. Emma is doing very well, the healthiest she has ever been, not having been sick or hospitalized in 15 months! 2007 was great to us.

Over the holiday we took Emma to my Mom's for the very first time. We rode the local lift bus and it was a solution to the transportation issue we had in getting her to my mom's. Mom has a small car, we have no car, Emma has too much stuff! LOL She had fun, we looked at the Christmas tree, Emma watched Mommy, Poppy, Nanny, Derek and Ella eat pizza, but I was sure to give her a napkin like the rest of us so she woudln't feel too left out. She liked the Christmas songs they played. We went to the park and Emma liked the outside. I even helped her pop wheelies in her wheelchair!

Christmas was good, she got lots of toys and clothes, just like her brother and sister. I think her fave thing is her new bear that lights up. Its a Glo-e bear and I suggest it for any child, especially those with disabilities, its very neat to watch and its a soft, very graduale light change so its not likely to cause seizures. She also likes her tickle me elmo. Her Nanny and Poppy got her earrings and in about a week we can take the first set she got put in out and try all kinds of new ones.

I posted some pics from the trip to my mom's above, hope you enjoy. And HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone.

Update

Emma went to therapy yesterday. They fitted her for some ankle/leg splints She has been having issues with one of her ankles kind of turning out a little bit. Plus in her stander she isn't able to put weight on them without them pretty much collapsing. I hope these splints help. They are going to be pretty. Purple and pink with flowers on them. These brand of splints are the prettiest I have seen. They should probably be there not the next time we go but the time after that, he said about 3 to 4 weeks and we got back in 4.

Emma also did her reg. workout with Amy and did good as always. She ate a lollipop and got all sticky.

We put up our Christmas tree, its very pretty. I think Emma likes the candy canes on it, they are plastic but look like they are made of glass. She must think they are real, she loves sucking on real ones. Ok so she doesn't really suck on them but she does taste them in her mouth.

We lost power for an hour the other night, it was very interesting being in the dark and trying to find the vent battery and get it all plugged in. We are expecting a big ice storm on Sunday and Monday, I hope we don't lose power from that, it could be days if we do. In that case we have to call and get Emma put into the hospital, unless of course we can find a friend or family who has power. Good thing is my Mom and Sister live spread out of town so chances are someone will have power. I am consider buying an indoor generator, its like a big battery really, but they dont last forever either and they are expensive.

I guess that is the update for today. Not much to talk about really, but I am trying to make a point of keeping this blog updated, I know many of you including family get your news from here.

Some More Christmas Pics

Here are some more pics I had to put up just so Grandpa and Grandma could see. They called today and its was so nice to hear from them. They are doing great, some times it stinks they live in KS I know the kids miss them so much and Dad and I do too!
I am not just saying this because I know they will read this, but they have been very wonderful to us, and have been very supportive of all our choices with Emma and that has meant a lot to us. My husband's dad is a great guy and his wife is a real sweetheart.

PS No my hair is not red or brown, it used to be but its back to really blonde now, my mom's camera just changed the color, funking lighting I guess!

Emma saw Santa

Tonight we went to the JD McCarty Center where Emma gets her PT. They had a big party for Christmas and all the kids went and had so much fun. Ella didn't much like Santa. Emma didn't seem to care at all about Santa. She did like the Christmas Music and tried to sing along. It was cute. She loved seeing all her friends, that place is just awesome and they really go all out on Christmas. Here are a few pics.


EMMA


ELLA



DEREK


Oh and one more thing. Emma and Ella both got their ears pierced this weekend. Ella has pink earrings and Emma's are diamonds. Neither girl cried or even said OUCH! I was so proud and they look so pretty

Family Doctor Day

Emma, Ella and Derek went to the doctor for check ups today. What a busy day, and Mommy is very tired. Daddy is too. It took 2 hours at the actual doctors office, to wait, be seen, get shots, and leave. Plus the hour ride on the bus there and back.

Everyone got shots. The girls got Hep A and flu shots and Derek had to get his chicken pox booster and the flu shot. Emma went first and as always did not cry, she just made an ugly face and jumped a litte. Next came Ella. Guess what? She didn't cry either! First time ever she didn't make a sound during a shot, she didn't even say OUCH! I was so proud I almost cried. Derek went last and he cried. Just a little, but his shots were in his arm the girls got leg shots, so I am sure arm shots just hurt more. He did pretty good and only cried for a few seconds.

The big news of the day is that Emma is no longer the big twin. She is the little twin! Ella finally caught up with her. Emma is 27 lbs 3 oz (she has lost weight, will get the nutrionalist to help look at that) and Ella is 28 lbs 12 oz. They measured Emma in parts since we can't get her straight in the legs and she is 34 inches, Ella is 38.5 inches tall. My little Ella is getting to be so big! Derek is 4 foot 3/4 inch tall and 57 lbs, very tall and very big for his age, in case you wondered.

Emma's doctor gave her some new medicine to try on the rash on her arm, we thought was eczema. He called it something else and I forgot what it was, but the important thing is we got new meds to try. Its called Lachydrin 12%. We will still use the elidel on her face, this stuff is just too harsh for the face, and we are pretty sure it is eczema on her face anyway.

He refered me to an eye doctor for her icky eyes, which looked horrible today, and I am happy they did so he could see them at their worse. He also told me about a dentist to get her seen at. Its just that time, plus she only has like 6 teeth and they are really icky because she drools all over them and the enamel is bad.

All in all it was a good but very long day. Emma brought her Homer Simpson doll with her and hugged it super tight right before her shot. She liked playing I am a little teapot while we waited. Only problem is she has two handles, not a handle and a spout, her arms are always in the "handle' position! LOL. I stretched her good and we made a handle. Then we did patty cake. She loves that one too.

Here is an update for everyone. Emma went to thearpy today. She did pretty good. She really worked on sitting up with some help and even lifted her head up staight a few times. I was very proud of her. I told her she looked like her sissy Ella when she set up like that.

Amy pointed out to me today that Emma is getting a slight curve to her spine, which is very common in kids like Emma who aren't really active and spend a lot of time in chairs and beds. Its still not a GOOD thing though. We will keep an eye on it, its pretty slight right now and we will bring it to her doctors attention and see what he wants to do about it, probably noting for now but just to watch it. Later on if it gets worse (which those things tend to do) we can brace her or possible do surgery. Having a big curve in your spine can actually be really bad, and put pressure on your lungs and it can be very serious if not deadly. But were aren't there yet so don't worry. We have lots of options if it starts getting worse.

We are working on getting her a brace for her hips because her legs are so frogged legged that she can barely fit in her bed anymore and getting her in clothes or in the bathtub is a nightmare. We won't see Amy in 2 weeks because of thanksgiving but when we do go back we will get the ball rolling. She has great range compared to what she used to have, you can really move her legs much better, thank God for that because it is a bit easier to dress her than it used to be. But her hips are weak and they don't want to stay together. Hopefully a brace will help.

Gosh I can't believe its almost Thanksgiving! We are also going to do some splints/braces for her ankles. Her right one tends to make her foot stick out at an angle, and the left one is fairly weak too so I hope we can get something to work for that.

It is a very pretty day outside and Emma liked the sunshine on her face. She sucked on a red dum dum lollipop today at therapy, well she didn't really suck but she tasted. I put it in her mouth and left it sticking out and one of the ladies at therapy said "Kids arent supposed to walk around with those in their mouth" and I told her "Well Emma isn't walking she is rolling! Besides she can't choke like most kids she has a trach!"

Happy Early Halloween!

I couldn't wait until Halloween to share all these pictures, they are all just too cute. The kids are going trick or treating in just a few days and they can't wait. As you can see from the pictures Emma is going to be a bride, Ella is going to be Dora the Explorer and Derek is going to be a black Knight. He doesn't have his dark sweats on in the picture but you can get the idea anyway.

We did our pumpkins. We have Homer Simpson, in honor of Emma's boyfriend Daniel aka Homer, Darth Maul from Star Wars because that is what Derek picked, and a little pumpkin with a face because Ella wanted her own pumpkin. Emma has a small pumpkin we haven't done anything to yet.

In Honor of a very courageous family

Many months ago we asked you to pray for our 'friend' Joel. He sadly did not make it and left this world in Jan. His parents have a blog and I suggest everyone check it out, their story is so very touching. Even after the doctors declared him brain dead they did not give up the fight to take their son home, they knew he was not gone, like the doctor said. He was still there, his heart was beating. He was alive. His heart finally stopped and he went to be with Jesus in Jan.

Well his family has a video out and I was lucky enough to get a copy. It was the most amazing video, about life I have ever seen. Their family is so full of love for each other and for God that it was just so heartwarming, and I feel blessed to have seen the video, and to be a part of their lives for the 33 minutes the video ran. They talk about the sanctity of life.

I cried, the entire time I watched it. It reminded me so much of the battle we have had with Emma, though ours was not a battle near as long and hard as theirs. It makes me hug her tighter, and I know even more now that her life is worth living, that life is important. Life means something, every life, and we should all fight for our children, and for their right to live it.

I just want to ask everyone to remember them in your prayers, they are always in mine.

Happy Birthday Emma (and Ella too!)

Its so very hard for me to believe that Emma and Ella just turned 3 a few mins ago! My how time has flown. They both seem like very big girls, but to me they will always be my babies. I will never forget the day they were born.

I was laying on the table getting ready for my c-section when it hit me, this was really happening, my girls were finally going to be here! I was so excited and scared all at the same time. It was still 9 weeks to early for them to come. Emma came out first and I had no clue. 10 seconds later they pulled Ella out and I heard her cry. They showed me her over the curtain and she was the tinest thing I had ever seen, so beautiful and perfect. I asked "Did the get the other one out yet" and Daddy said they are working on her. I had no idea Emma had been born first, she was silent. They were breathing for her. About that time they gave me some medicine that made me black out most of the day, but I do remember them showing me Emma all wrapped up on the way to the NICU.

Now when I say blacked out, I wasn't really blacked out. Apparently I was talking and throwing up and asking about the girls, I just have no memory of it. I do remember watching about 10 mins of Nascar that night. I was shocked my husband had remembered to turn it on, I asked him later and he told me I had asked him to put it on, but I don't remember that part at all.

Someone brought me NICU pictures of the girl, not sure if that was the 16th or 17th but the morning of the 17th I walked down and saw them for the first time. They were both so tiny. Ella was 3 lbs and 15 inches long. Emma was also 15 inches long and she weighted 3 lbs 6 oz. They looked like baby monkey's both were laying on their tummys and I remember seeing their skinny little shoulder blades and neither one of them seemed to have a bottom at all, a tiny little diaper was on them, no bigger than a maxi pad. They were hooked up to all kinds of machines, but I never felt scared. I kind of felt at peace next to them. In that warm NICU with the dim lights and all those cozy sleeping babies. I remember hurting from my physical pain, but my heart never hurt for the girls. Maybe because I was a preemie too, but I think it was God sending a sense of peace over me, so I could be there for my girls.

I held Ella about a week or two later. Emma well, I held Emma for the first time, really held her the day after Thanksgiving, the day Ella went home.

Since then of course, Emma has had all kinds of issues and is on her vent, but I thank God that we are blessed to share another birthday with her. The big 3. Ella told me before she went to bed "Mommy I free." lol. She is free yours old. My babies are free years old, and they are two best princesses in the world.

Nothing to say really

Just a quick update, not much to say really. Emma missed going to therapy and being reunited with Amy, who has been on maternity leave. I have been fighting 2 kidney stones so there was no way I could take her, Mommy was in too much pain.

She is doing wonderfully, I can't believe that in 3 days her and Ella will be 3 years old. They have come a very long way in their short little lives. Especially Emma and I am so very proud of her.

Check back on the 16th should have a big birthday post for her and Ella, plus if my kidney stones go away I will be going to the pumpkin patch at Derek's school so I might talk a bit about that.