Emma's Journey

5 years ago today, we had Emma baptized. While I have talked before on this subject, I can't let today go without mentioning it again. Never grew up believing in infant baptism, but just felt after almost losing her the night before that it was the right thing to do. Notice how yesterday I did not post a remembrance of almost losing her the first time she flatlined on us at home, Jan 26, 2005. Its because I no longer want to dwell on the sadness that night put into my heart, or the fear that it caused me.

Jan 27, 2005 when they sprinkled Emma's head with water and baptized her in the name of the Father, the son, and the Holy Spirit, it not only washed her sin (not that she really had any she was so young and innocent, the only sin she had was being human and Jesus already wiped that sin way for her on the cross) it washed that part of her life away, the part of fear. I had given her to God in prayer and with a sacrament. I prayed God would take her, he was her child, not mine and only he could heal her. Which he did! Hallelujah!! She may not be like other children, but he healed her, and in turn he healed me too.

That day I basically had her baptized not because of her sin, like I said she was a sinless child, but as a sign to God that I would raise her to be Christ like in her ways, and to teach her of him. I have tried hard to live up to that, we don't always go to church, sometimes its physically impossible for us to walk, in the snow or cold, but I talk to her every day about God, we read our bible. We have been so lucky to find a church that works for us, Emma loves her music, and her friends. She sits and listens, I don't know how much she actually understands, we will never know. But I always kiss her and am all smiles at church, because I know that God is sending his love to her, and that she might not understand the sermon that day, maybe she does? But God is sending her a special sermon in her heart that is only known to her and him. He is always with her.

Some people ask me how I can believe in God, especially after having a child that has something "wrong" with them. My belief of him has been in me my whole life,from an early age I knew God was real and I was his faithful servant, but if I ever needed proof I just have to look into those big brown eyes of Emma's and know he is real and he is good. He has blessed me with so many answered prayers and miracles in regards to Emma, how could I not believe? Her being here is proof in itself. I am so undeserving of his love and answered prayers, but he has always been there with me and he is always with her. He is with all of us, we just have to open our eyes and see him, and open our hearts to receive him.